(First, does anyone know how to get back to a normal format? I hat that it is now so wide, so hard to read. What did In accidentally do? Help!)
I have always thought that it is somehow wrong to wish time away. We are only given so much time on earth and to waste it wishing it were gone is at least a venial sin. But I cannot wait for this day to be over, gone, done, finished, because then 2005 will be over, never to return again.
I know I will still have to deal with the problems and repercussions of 2005 as we move into 2006, but I can do that. (After all, I am Warrior Woman.) But this year has been worse than 2004, which was worse than 2003, the year I fell and my life spun off in to medical hell.
I have some hope for 2006. My house is clean and clutter free (or will be very soon), I am still losing weight, even as I add a variety of food to my diet . I miss all the good parts of my relationship with Rene terribly. But she has only to get her stuff out of the basement, and she will be gone, and settled in her own home. (a good thing for her). And now I am free to dream into being the life I need to live. A renewed life of the Spirit. A Life centered around the feminine side of the godhead. A group of women who are also seeking Spirit My own space to become whatever is next.
These are not New Year's resolutions, just what I hope to find to fill my life again, to give me courage to go on with the medical stuff, and confront my inner demons a little at a time. And maybe, in time, find joy again.
I wish you all a Happy New Year, and am reminded of an old friend who always gave up his New Year's Resolutions for Lent, by which time they were way too burdensome to carry out!