Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Cleaning House

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               I I am still alive and okay in Southeastern CT. Rene's departure was incredibly painful, and still leaves a big hole in my life, but I am glad she's gone. It feels as if I can breath differently now, live without the pressure we created as our marriage disintegrated. ( Of course, I must point out that despite our Ceremony of Commitment, and  14 years together it was not a "marriage" because gays and lesbians do not have all their civil rights yet, but that is a whole other entry)

I have hired a local maid service-two women- to come in and clean the house. Cheryl and Diane have been working hard for almost 3 days, and all they have finished is the living room and two-thirds of the kitchen! On the other hand the living room, and  kitchen were not this clean when I moved in over 30 years ago! Rene and I petered out on  heavy housework after my accident. Part of me is angry that I have to pay a huge amount of money to catch up, and another part doesn't care if I spend all my savings(which will probably happen)-I am reclaiming my house room by room with their help.

My living room is wonderful, arranged as I want it, clean  and quite uncluttered(for me). I tend to attract clutter, so I'll have to work hard to keep all this up! I feel lighter in that room than I have in years. I am really pleased.

I do have some very dark times, but I am aware that I am waiting for the next part of my life to open up and claim me. It will take time, and winter is not an optimistic time for me, but I will make it through-Warrior Woman just keeps moving onwards, dragging me with her!

I am now over 300 e-mail journal entries behind- I am still dragging my exhaused self around to too many places, and purging stuff when I can, and struggling to get enough protein and water in. Collapsing in front of the boob tube to tune out the world has become my escape, but I will catch up, and I do like to comment at least some, so be patient with me.

I really can feel the care and concern that many of you have for me, and appreciate the thoughts, prayers and energy you send my way. I feel very blessed by my online friends-Thank you.

Happy Winter Solstice, Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa to all and everyone!

Blessings, Margo


luvmort said...

You will get through!
When they are done, send them my way!

dklars said...

Happy decluttering!  I hope you can continue to keep it as clean as you like it.  I am a clutterer, mostly mail.  I have stacks of it.  I go through it, throw it away, and a week later I have another stack.  It's endless!
Merry Christmas, Margo

magogos said...

I don't know why the entry is so wide-does anyone know how to make it lass wide? Margo

indigosunmoon said...

Your doing great Margo.  Slowly but surely
your going to get there.  
Thinking of you!
Merry, Happy Holidays!

dbaumgartner said...

One step at a time and you will reach your destination.

Don't forget you have friends that will help you take those steps if you need.

Hugs to you, my friend,


ryanagi said...

The cleaning service was a fantastic idea. I need to do the same. I'd love to see this house looking the way it did when we first moved in. Of course, I'd have to get rid of 3/4ths of the furniture for that "empty new home" effect, but I'm tempted to do it!  Happy Holidays to you!

bosoxblue6993w said...

the pain may never vanish completely ... but the hole in your life will be filled again.     THIS i know.

njlittlebear said...

I hate spending saved money too but I'm sure the service was worth it. Should save you so much work and trouble.  One day at a time it will come together.  I'm always sending good thoughts to you......Peace !!!


moonpie337 said...

I'm happy for you and your space.  The maid service was a great idea!  My thoughts are with you for a happy season.  Love, Stevie, from MoonPines.

csandhollow said...

Maid service?! I want maid service too!!!! HUgs to you margo.

lamove04 said...

Let go of the journal entry alerts and keep working on your space-- it sounds great!  xxoo, Albert

journalseditor said...

Hi Margo -- Celeste asked me to take a look at your blog to see why the entries are running so wide -- it looks like you have a mess of spaces in front of the first word of the body text for this particular entry -- if you delete them, you should fix the problem.

Hope this helps -- Joe