You know what? I have a pet peeve about doctors' questionnaires. You know, those interminable sheets of papers that ask for name, DOB, allergies, next of kin, meds you are taking? Well, practically ALL of them ask you to check single, married, divorced or widowed.
Now, I am no longer much of an in-your-face-lesbian, I leave that to the younger and more energetic (thank you, those who are, I appreciate your efforts). I have also come to realize that my lesbian lifestyle is so like my neighbors' heterosexual lifestyles that it makes no nevermind (As my father used to say.) That is, I live a boring suburban lifestyle, and would not have it any other way. Except for the marches on Washington, the viewing of the whole Quilt, and the time we had our Ceremony of Commitment and a picture of us kissing ended up in the local paper. But I digress.
I believe ALL doctors should have a space for "living with partner" or "in committed relationship" or something that fits the myriad of lifestyles of today. These things are not necessarily a GLBT only issue; many couples remain unmarried, but committed. It is an issue for me, because Rene and I have encountered such ignorance in the past. Doctors who refused to keep the other up to date because we're not blood kin, hospitals that wouldn't give out information-well before the new regs. And this, despite our wills and power of medical attorney papers -- because they never asked who we were living with, or committed to. And we didn't tell, because it seemed easier that way.
Now I go into each new doctor struggling to keep the chip on my shoulder from getting in the way. I make my own square to mark, variously putting down my suggestions above, or "other," depending on my mood. I try to point out the error of their paperwork's ways, politely with a brief explanation. On a Big-Chip-day, I might go into a tirade about how the GLBT community does not get the care they need, because of subtle discrimination like this. Who wants to open up to someone whose paperwork denies my very existence? Today at the doctor, I was so tired, I forgot to say anything about it at all. Since itis such a pet peeve, I won't let the opportunity pass again!