Thursday, January 12, 2006

Great Start, or Things Can Only Get Better

Well, I wanted to start my New Year on a positive note, so when I finished my morning ablations, I gathered my laundry together, and by 9:15 AM I had the kettle on and my laundry on the back porch, I put the first load in, stepped back, and to my great surprise, kept on going. Step after step backward, until I was no longer stepping, but falling backwards. I landed hard on a folded up rug, but jarred the hell out of myself anyway.

When I got my breath, and moved my extremities to see if I still worked, my immediate thought was, Great way to start the New Year. I will not have this be the symbol for 2006. Then I began to worry about how to get up. Because my right arm is weak, I have a difficult time pushing myself up. and I began to see some of the perils of living alone.

Eventually, I rolled across the cement floor, up a step into the kitchen, grabbing a pair of blue jeans out of the washer to pad my knees, and hauled myself up with the help of a kitchen chair. In considerable pain, but triumphant I retired to my recliner with an ice pack and pain meds, where I spent the rest of the day. I am still in pain 12 days later, but it is getting better very s l o w l y.

I have also had Cheryl-my house cleaner-in and out since before Christmas, but my house is neat enough to invite company over for the first time in years. And so Saturday night I am having 3 friends over to smudge the house, to cleanse it spiritually and psychically, with sage and ritual. The idea is to let Rene go(without malice or anger) and invite new possibilities and opportunities into my house and life.

I am pleased and excited to do this, but cautious about expecting too much too soon. I have finally gotten an appointment with an excellent shoulder Dr. out of Branford-it's taken 6 months and a lot of whining and phone calls and perseverance just to get the appointment, because I am more than one year out from my accident, and workers' comp just wants me to go away.

I have decided that if this eminent Doc says surgery might help, I'll go for that. If he says it probably won't help, I will accept my limitations and stop hoping for some sort of magical fix. I will work on learning to live with the disability and pain. And I'll look around for something else to do in my life.

I guess that is kind of a New Year's Resolution, despite the fact that I don't make such things because they always seem artificial and unrealistic.

I have not been catching up on my journal reading very quickly or in any order-it has hurt too much to sit too long. I'll get back in the swing of things eventually, I think, or else I'll delete everything and start new. I took a 4 month hiatus lasts winter because I became overwhelmed with the amount of reading I had to catch to and comment on. I miss being part of peoples' lives, however, for you are one community I depend on in my life.

Blessings, Margo


magogos said...

HELP. What do I do to get my journal back into a readable form? I am an absolute idiot about computersm, but I have tried what Jodi suggested, and it did not help. Margo

moonpie337 said...

I'm sorry to hear of your accident, but proud of your determination.  Hang in there.
I had this happen to my journal once, but I hit the refresh button and it corrected itself.  The only other thing I know to suggest is to look at your journal as an html instead of a text display and see if you are missing any tags.  You can compare your html with that of a similar journal to be sure.  Good luck and warmest wishes, Stevie.

dbaumgartner said...

Hi Margo.  Ouch about the fall.  But, the warrior woman rose to the challenge and found a way to get up and move on.  You are doing good and I look forward to see where this year will take you. :-)



csandhollow said...

Hun don't worry about catching up. You worry about getting up! So glad that you are going to have people over. It is a good thing.

bosoxblue6993w said...

catch up later, margo.    yours is easily one of my favorite reads ... the better and more relaxed you feel, the more polished your writing seems to be.

luvmort said...

Now stop this right now! I am in the running for the worst 2006 and I think I have done a bang-up job so far by being laid off from two jobs and losing another so, don't you start trying to gain the sympathy vote with this little missive, missy!

LOL! I do hope that you are OK! Watch those first steps backwards, they are always the hardest and our butts aren't as padded as they once were!