Great Start, or Things Can Only Get Better

Well, I wanted to start my New Year on a positive note, so when I finished my morning ablations, I gathered my laundry together, and by 9:15 AM I had the kettle on and my laundry on the back porch, I put the first load in, stepped back, and to my great surprise, kept on going. Step after step backward, until I was no longer stepping, but falling backwards. I landed hard on a folded up rug, but jarred the hell out of myself anyway.

When I got my breath, and moved my extremities to see if I still worked, my immediate thought was, Great way to start the New Year. I will not have this be the symbol for 2006. Then I began to worry about how to get up. Because my right arm is weak, I have a difficult time pushing myself up. and I began to see some of the perils of living alone.

Eventually, I rolled across the cement floor, up a step into the kitchen, grabbing a pair of blue jeans out of the washer to pad my knees, and hauled myself up with the help of a kitchen chair. In considerable pain, but triumphant I retired to my recliner with an ice pack and pain meds, where I spent the rest of the day. I am still in pain 12 days later, but it is getting better very s l o w l y.

I have also had Cheryl-my house cleaner-in and out since before Christmas, but my house is neat enough to invite company over for the first time in years. And so Saturday night I am having 3 friends over to smudge the house, to cleanse it spiritually and psychically, with sage and ritual. The idea is to let Rene go(without malice or anger) and invite new possibilities and opportunities into my house and life.

I am pleased and excited to do this, but cautious about expecting too much too soon. I have finally gotten an appointment with an excellent shoulder Dr. out of Branford-it's taken 6 months and a lot of whining and phone calls and perseverance just to get the appointment, because I am more than one year out from my accident, and workers' comp just wants me to go away.

I have decided that if this eminent Doc says surgery might help, I'll go for that. If he says it probably won't help, I will accept my limitations and stop hoping for some sort of magical fix. I will work on learning to live with the disability and pain. And I'll look around for something else to do in my life.

I guess that is kind of a New Year's Resolution, despite the fact that I don't make such things because they always seem artificial and unrealistic.

I have not been catching up on my journal reading very quickly or in any order-it has hurt too much to sit too long. I'll get back in the swing of things eventually, I think, or else I'll delete everything and start new. I took a 4 month hiatus lasts winter because I became overwhelmed with the amount of reading I had to catch to and comment on. I miss being part of peoples' lives, however, for you are one community I depend on in my life.

Blessings, Margo