Rene is home, full of wonderful stories of her trip, the places they went, the things they did, the others on the tour. She is the most amazing traveler, bright-eyed and child-like, interested in everything and everyone, and most people enjoy her presence. Just hearing her stories makes me smile and know why people are drawn to her. As, of course, am I!
I am working to turn my attention to real preparation for the surgery. The hospitalization after my fall in '03 was a nightmare of unregulated pain, over worked, and at times uncompassionate nurses and aides, and pompous doctors who didn't give a shit. (Except for my PCP, who saved my life because he knew not to make the same assumptions others were.)
This hospitalization will be different-and at a different hospital. I am girding up my loins(so to speak, and in a variety of ways) to become an Amazon, a Woman Warrior for my own Health. Not the kind of man-hating, battle-axe carrying cartoon Amazon of TV or movies, but a Warrior who is on an individual Journey of development and growth.
I plan to use the labrys, or battle-axe, to cut away the scars of years and years of abuse by judgmental, thoughtless, uncaring doctors and nurses, the stupidity of the whole medical system, and my own willingness to accept this treatment as normal. I will be courageous in accepting the necessary indignities and pain, but I will ask for help, good pain control, caring treatment, whatever I need. If it is not forthcoming, I will ask again more firmly, then move on to demanding. I will use the hospital ombudsman, if necessary.
I will also be appreciative when I get what I need, and tell people so. I will get up and walk the first time I am asked to, or at least give it a Warrior's try. I will not whine (too publicly) about nausea; after all I am choosing to have this surgery in the first place. And choosing to use The Woman Warrior as an archetype. On the other hand, I am not stepping into the archetype completely. I'd prefer to emerge from this part of the journey relatively unscathed.
So I am meditating on what Warrior energy I haveto call on, where it will come from, what it will look like, how it can be helpful.. And still whining and feeling sorry for myself now and then, too. It may be a difficult weekend, but I will muddle my way through, as always. And write a lot, too, I suspect.
Blessings, Margo
11 comments:
I wish you much success :)
http://journals.aol.com/derasta/MyBigFatGreekLife/
I love that you are using imagery to help you cope. I just know you will tap into that Warrior's strength within you.
I'll be rooting for you in your battle, oh mighty warrior. ;-)
I am so glad Rene is home now...perfect timing. I like you becoming an Amazon Warrior Woman. You will be in my thoughts and prayers and PLEASE let us know how you are doing, OK? Anne
Those first few hours after surgery you are going
to be nauseated babe. You ask for that nausea
medication and if they don't bring it...well, have
a dern fit! As a nurse, I've found that a smile
and a thank you go a long way, so try that,
but if that doesn't work...give em hell!
Connie
you might want to curtail the 'WOMAN WARRIOR' bit when you're finally able to eat hospital food. spreading jelly on the toast with an axe can get messy
I love this entry and your imagery. You go girl! I wont fret about you as much as long as I too can keep that image in my mind and heart. Love, Pennie
Good for you! The Woman Warrior will prevail!!!!!
Sounds like a very good plan! Warrior is good.
you are amazing and I admire and respect you....... love and thoughts of strength to you. judi
Warrior Woman is a great thing---all three of my girls are warriors already. Mandy just learned to throw a tomahawk this weekend. I had to learn to be assertive. You are worth it, so be as assertive as you need to be!!!
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