Saturday, July 30, 2005

Boring, Boring, Bored

I would like to say my sense of humor, or even just my sense of equilibrium is returning, so I can begin to get on with life a bit, but alas, it has not happened yet. I wait with baited breath, and believe me, so does poor Rene. She is very tired of what she sees as my over neediness, and I just feel sad and lonely. 

But I am doing somewhat better, thank Goddess. I have the pain under control-both old, chronic pain and the new stomach pain, and life always looks slightly rosier when I am not hurting so much. I went to my surgeon on Tuesday, and got a clean bill of health, as far as the surgery goes, and had lost 29 pounds. In two weeks. How incredibly bizarre this whole process is.  

I am now allowed six ounces of soft food a day, along with all the sugar,calorie free fluids I can force down, My drink of choice is water-ice water-which has always pretty much been my drink of choice anyway. I am not getting enough yet, but am working up slowly.  

As for food, I am eating two tablespoons of cottage cheese, with a bit of unsweetened applesauce for breakfast. Two tablespoons of yogurt for lunch, and one egg, scrambled, for supper. So far I have kept it all down, although it is running right through me, if you know what I mean. Am I hungry? Sort of. It's head hunger, the desire to eat even though my pouch does not really want more food crammed into it.  

We went out and bought an exercise bicycle today, because I simply cannot walk outside in the heat and humidity, dragging my oxygen tank behind me-I get chest pain and shortness of breath. I absolutely have to start an exercise program, however, so tomorrow it is five minutes on the bike, twice a day.  

Am feeling as dull as this entry tonight. Sorry, surely sometime life will become more interesting and well rounded. Please be patient with me!  

Blessings, Margo

12 comments:

indigosunmoon said...

Sweetie, You are doing great!  Scrambled eggs saved me those first weeks.  It was just about the only thing I could keep down!  I also ate some cream of wheat with splenda and that gave me the full feeling...and some energy too!
29 pounds is awesome Margo!  You go your bad self!!!!!
If you need to ask me anything, don't hesitate.  And just remember...it gets easier and easier every day.
Much love,
Connie

thebaabee said...

Margo,
I am so happy you are healing and feeling better.  I hope you continue to do so.  My doctor has suggested this surgery for me.  As I am having trouble breathing and my back is a mess.  We are going to wait six months to see if I can lose any weight on my own.  I did it before I got sick.  Lost over 100 pounds on weight watchers but now things seem more difficult.  Being on all these meds makes me so fatigued and many increase my appetite.  It's funny because when I got sick I was at my ideal weight.  Amazing.  Sweetie, I am praying for you and for Rene.  Love bunches LuAnne
http://journals.aol.com/thebaabee/LUANNESLIFELIVINGWITHLUPUS

judithheartsong said...

I cannot even imagine these drastic changes and am so proud of you for your bravery. You and Connie are amazing women and I am so glad to know you Margo.
judi

cyndygee said...

Every day in every way I get just a little better!

It's an affirmation I used back when I lost weight.  It may be silly and simple, but it just made me feel better!

Every day in every way YOU are getting just a little better!

bosoxblue6993w said...

WHATEVER YOU DO ... DON'T LAUGH!    aVOID ALL PEOPLE WHO ARE REMOTELY FUNNY:   CLOWNS, COMEDIANS, THE THREE STOOGES, JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES.    WHEN YOU FEEL AN URGE TO LAUGH ... HAVE RENEE STICK YOU WITH A CATTLE PROD.

blondepennierae said...

I am so happy to hear from you.  I have been a bit concerned.  Every day will get a bit better.  I know that sounds trite, but it's truth.  29 lbs!!  Good grief.  Thinking about you all the time.  Pennie    

dbaumgartner said...

Hi sweetie.  You have to remember, you are a warrior and you have been through a battle and come out a winner.  If I were closer I would give you and Rene a big hug.  Since I am not there, please accept a big giant cyber-hug!!!!!

ryanagi said...

I was talking to my friend Deb who had this surgery done a couple years ago. I asked her what kinds of things she was eating...hoping to get some interesting suggestions for you. Here is what she sent to me:

"I  remember really liking mashed potatoes and beef gravy.... applesauce and soup, soup, soup and more soup.. bullion, and um...... lemme think..... I also ate a lot of baby food... pureed veggies and fruits.. (didn't like the meat purees)... warn her, however, she WILL NEED LOTS OF SALT to make the baby foods palatable!!!!  

A one serving little food processor was an awesome addition to my kitchen post surgery... I whipped EVERYTHING!!!! That is about it from here..... I was severely limited to what I could tolerate post surgery.... I have grown to tolerate most everything in very small amazingly slow eaten portions.. and even now, if I eat something that is hard to digest or too much of something other than liquids, the old heave ho happens.... tell her she will get by the frustrations of wanting to eat and not being able to.  Tell her driving by Burger King will send her saliva flowing uncontrollably.. (quite serious about that).   Tissues and a lot of swallowing helps in that situation.   Stay away from chicken, beef, pork, turkey and other meats. Soft boiled eggs is a great source of protein, as are beans (kidney etc.. purred with a little salad dressing.. not bad).  "

chasingmoksha said...

I honesty hear hope real hope when I read this out loud.  You go!  The bike will be nice.  I would not suggest one of the ones that have the arms and the legs moving.  Those can be so discouraging.  Thinking of you.  

csandhollow said...

My girlfriend said that chicken was good for her. And she also said DO NOT DRINK BEFORE MEALS

njlittlebear said...

Wow 29 is awesome.  I know it's so damn hard to start exercising but take it easy on the bike I'm sure you'll get used to it.   Sending you best wishes always !  

NJLB
http://journals.aol.com/njlittlebear/MyBigFatGeekLife

ps.   Can I add you to my other journals area ? Drop me an email and let me know !

bosoxblue6993w said...

i guess this scratches you from the 3-legged sack race this weekend.