Tuesday, September 21, 2004

The river flows

This is a very odd time in my life. One day I’m down and out, the next I am crawling back, and the day after I feel okay, only to fall back into the pits again. This is not meant as a complaint, either, just an observation. I well remember this time last year when I was still sleeping in my recliner, dealing with sharp, serious, relentless pain, getting up only to use the bathroom and do physical therapy, needing to ask for ice water and help putting my legs up.

 

Back then, I expected to fully recover and go back to prison. Now I am working on living day by day, accepting the ups and downs, looking around for what life will bring me next. Life seems in no great hurry, however. I am reminded of the phrase I took on at another bad patch in my life:

 

Don’t push the river; it’s already flowing by itself.

 

I picture myself standing thigh high in the Tobyhanna River (my favorite river, in the Poconos), happily being pulled downstream by the rushing current, content to let Her take me where She will. This takes place in mid summer, of course, and I am warm and sure footed! That’s the good thing about memories. I will take what the Goddess offers.

 

Saturday was the Fourth Annual Neighborhood Olympics. Now, the members of the US Olympic team have nothing to worry about, but we do it up proudly, complete with the younger athletes (all available neighborhood kids) marching down the street, carrying the flag, into Jaime’s yard, followed by the National Anthem and  the dedication of the games to all those serving in Iraq, especially the cops and firemen. Then, with all due ceremony, we light the torch (a tiki torch from someone’s backyard), and the Games begin.

 

Since remnants of Ivan had blown through earlier in the day, we had a somewhat shortened version this year. Usually we start at 1pm with a pie eating contest-one for kids, one for adults, then have lots of kids games, with prizes like candy and small toys, and versions of the same games for adults, minus the prizes. Some games are mixed, adults and kids, and then we move on to other yards for bocce, croquet, and end with an hysterical game of volleyball, one street against the other. All this is followed by a cook out and community meal. Those of us who are not athletic watch and cheer.

 

This year, under a windy sky, in Jamie’s cold, after-the-rain-soggy yard, we persevered, 41 of us, kids and adults, with kids’ games, volleyball. a bit of bocce, followed by the meal-as always lots and lots of good food. We ended with fireworks, set off by Rene, Joey and Joe. They were wonderful! Our next big neighborhood get together will be our After-Christmas-Is-Over Progressive Dinner.

 

Have I said that I live in the best neighborhood in the world?  We know each others kids' names, and everybody’s dogs, and it is okay for the younger ones to leave their bikes by the side of the road.(The Younger kids, not dogs!) We are all so nosey about each others goings on that a stranger doesn’t have a chance down here. All this, and old houses, and a view of a river. I am blessed by where I live, and truly appreciate it.

 

Autumn helps. Today is the Equinox, and though we have tipped over towards darkness as the days get shorter, I got a spurt of energy and called the local women’s center. I’m to try babysitting there one evening a week, while one of the groups meet. I also stopped over to see how Glenn, my personal trainer, is coming along with his new studio. The equipment is due to arrive momentarily, so soon I’ll go back to working out- something I actually hate, but have sort of missed this last month. Funny how that is. I guess I really miss Glenn who, after almost a year of my working out, has become a member of my extended family.

 

Perhaps the river is flowing a little more smoothly, at least for a day or two. On the good days I can feel my feelings flowing like Tobyhanna, sometimes smooth and quiet, sometimes blocked by debris, sometimes pouring joyfully around rocks and over stone, looking for expression and freedom. And I am grateful.

 

Blessings, Margo

 

picture of the Tobyhanna River from https:/.../Tobyhanna_eq/ tobyhanna_final.html

12 comments:

jadzia7667 said...

I'm glad you're feeling better these days, my friend :)

poetmom1968 said...

Standing in the river seems wonderful and healing.  Your neighborhood sounds great.  Hang in there, you're a strong woman and each day you'll improve in some way.  Even though it probably seems slower than molasses to you.
Steph

ksquester said...

What a wonderful neighborhood you live in. Sounds like a delightful day. I am glad you were able to enjoy yourself. Good analogy, great entry. Thanks for taking us down to the river with you. Anne

indigosunmoon said...

Just wanted to stop by and see what
you have going here!  I like what I've
read so far!  I'll be back!
Blessings to you!
Connie

journals.aol.com/indigosunmoon/Thoughtsonmylifeandothermindless

cdscferges said...

Try lipitor for general inflammation. My CRP went from 5.25 ( high risk for heart
attack) to .77 (very low risk) in 9 months. Test for sleep apnea. Poor oxygenation
causes pain and many other side effects.

jeanno43 said...

Beautiful picture and how lovely the trees look. Autumn is very beautiful. Glad you are keeping your spirits up. xxxx

momspinklollipop said...

Wow Margo I wish I had half the great neighbors you had, (our neighborhood SUCKS) I think what you all do is unbelievable to pull together and have stuff like that. You all o are teaching them kiddos some GREAT things as the grow. Where do you leave I am moving into your neighborhood ;-)

I wish you could get to feeling 100% better inside and out your such a wonderful women and dont deserve to be down in any way :)

((((((((HUGS)))))))
xoxoxoxoxoxox
Angela

http://journals.aol.com/momspinklollipop/SitDownShut-UpandListen/



yorksrose04 said...

I love your picture, sorry you are still having so much pain. and yet you always seem to find the good in things. And then  still find it in you to  help other people. Your an inspiration.
And i love where you live.Though id prob still stay home & not join in lol.
Take Care, of yrself
Yorks-rose x

slowmotionlife said...

Margo, I think maybe this back and forth feeling between content and sadness has a lot to do with the oncoming Fall.  Most of us so look forward to it, but this time of year is usually only filled with hints of it.  It comes and goes and so does our mood.  I hope you find your footing again soon, hon.

ryanagi said...

Something's in the air lately, I think. Everywhere I go, the blues have settled in for a stay. Gloomy and doomy in my house too. I am thinking about a vacation from myself for a while.

judithheartsong said...

love and hugs dear Margo,
judi

kathleenggoode said...

Oh, I do hope you feel better.  Just one minute before I read your entry I was looking for the word “blue card” in the dictionary.  It was used in Madame Bovary and I was hoping to fine a definition.  However, what I did find was the “blue devils” meaning a depressing feeling.  I just hate it!  Your neighborhood sounds great.  My father often reminisced about his neighborhood gatherings; supposedly, they had reunions for years and years.  That is an atmosphere I know little about and the way modern neighborhoods are it does not look like I will learn any time soon, perhaps when we move to Connecticut in about eight years.  Do you ever read Flannery O Connor; she was a prolific “river” storywriter.  Rivers are unknown to the west coast, at least in the northeastern and southern sense.  If I see a river out here, actually I cannot remember the last river I saw, it would be embraced with gratitude.  When I dug water wells in Ridgecrest, California and went through Kern County, I would see a meandering dry sandy rocky bottom brook.  Supposedly, when it does rain, the river fills quickly and rapidly and apparently disappears just as fast when the rain stops. While discussing African American Literature last semester with the endless river allusions, it was lost on the California native students. By the way, did you know that a river never disappears or dries up? ------------It simply goes underground.  One has to know that when searching for a place to dig an 800 foot water well.