Monday, September 13, 2004

Ordinary Lesbian, Featured



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From Deborah, at:Confessions of a Lateblooming Lesbian

“If you go onto AOL, Keyword: Gay & Lesbian, up pops a pic of Pres. Bush.  Click on the number 2 under the photo and up will come a pic of ... Ta Da ... Me!  There is also a link to this journal and two others.  I hope it encourages more gay folks to start and read journals.”   (as of Monday, it's the 1st page-Margo)

Hey, guess what? I am one of the other journals AOL includes!  Debbie was cool as a cucumber about being featured; I am very excited! There are a lot of journals written by lesbians out there and I am proud to have been picked, along with Debbie and Darla.( Simple everyday thoughts of a lesbian) I like being in the company of “everyday lesbians doing everyday things.”

I cannot speak for the other two, but for me being in a relationship with a woman is only one of the interesting things about my life. I have my coming out story, as do most of us, and may tell it here someday, but I have lots of other interesting stories to tell, too. I am a mother, a friend, an HIV Counselor and Educator, a supporter of women’s rights, a murder mystery addict, a slob, a pagan, a tax-payer, a neighbor, a home owner, depressive, struggling to heal, a member of several diverse communities, a lesbian and a lot more. To me, it all feels quite ordinary.

I like that I can think of myself as ordinary;  times have changed a lot in the 15 or so years since I came out. It seems amazing that we have moved from the Stonewall Riots to everyday lesbians (and gays, of course) in less than 35 years. Of course our freedom to be regular people in the eyes of at least some of the world has been hard won, and at times seems precarious today.

This world is not always accepting of those of us who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered. There are still rights we don’t have, and powerful politicians who are working very hard to make sure we never do. ( Small plug: please vote with a variety of issues in mind, thoughtfully.) There are people- some of whom are good, church going Christians- who hate me without even knowing who I am. There are people who live in my own community who don’t "approve of my lifestyle choices." (I want to ask them when they chose to be heterosexual, but that's another story.) And there are kids who are unsafe at school because of their orientation, whether it be perceived or real. And much, much more.  All this seems very odd to me, living my humdrum, suburban life.

I feel as if I have been one of the lucky ones. When I came out, when I marched on Washington for GLBT rights, when I wept over the Quilt stretched from one end of the Mall to the other, when Rene and I had our Ceremony of Commitment, my job was not at stake, nor was my life. This has not been true for many who have lost everything-including freedom and life-for being who they are. And we can never forget the holocaust of AIDS which took so many bright lights from our midst, nor the activists who, in  anger and deseperation, brought both the disease, and our way of life, out of the closet and into the light of day.

This everyday lesbian feels a debt of gratitude for all who have gone before, so I can have the freedom to be ordinary, to keep an on-line journal, to have a place in J-Land, and in the world at large. I hope this small featuring of three journals will lead others to do join me, both in life and in journaling, because there is a richness in the freedom I now tend to take for granted.

Blessings, Margo

:)picture of two "ordinary lesbians" from:uk.geocities.com/our_ celtic_hearts/art/05.htm

 

18 comments:

poetmom1968 said...

I know there are still many hurdles for the gay community.  I also know there are people that miss out on knowing a wonderful person from their narrow minded judgement.  I'm proud to represent the open minded, caring and loving crowd.:)  Finding love, whether it be the same sex or not, is truly a gift.
Congrats on being one of the journals picked to be featured!
Steph

jeanno43 said...

Congratulations, Margo, on having your journal picked.  Well done you!!!!!

judithheartsong said...

FANTASTIC entry Margo and a huge congratulations to you!!!!!! I am so very glad to know you. love to you and yours, judi

hope5555 said...

I look forward to the day, hopefully within our lifetime, when people of all sexual orientations can have equal rights.  Yesterday on campus there was a Christian group handing out pamphlets about homosexuality, so I picked one up (just because I like to torture myself by reading what people I disagree with have to say).  It was all about "loving the sinner, but hating the sin."  Ugh, how self-righteous.  Even if I thought that homosexuality was a sin (I don't), there are a lot of WORSE sins that I wish "Christians" would get upset about, sins like polluting the environment, ignoring starving children, or withholding health care from people who can't afford it. Those are all sins that HURT people, whereas homosexuality hurts no one.  How DARE they sit there and judge someone else's so-called "sin".  Jesus said something along the lines of:  "Do not pay attention to the speck in your brother's eye; pay attention to the log in your own eye."  Did these people miss that lesson in Sunday School?

Laura

slowmotionlife said...

I think the gay and lesbian community is represented well here in AOL-J.  There's you and Deborah, obviously.  But there's also DiAnne of MT Headed Rambling [who I LOVE], Connie or Indigosunmoon [who I ADORE!], Judith of Judith's Heartstrings [who I ADMIRE!], Gregg the GoldenChild [who I'd happily MARRY if only I had a penis!], Albert of Albert's Artsy World of Fun [who looks better in a dress than I do anyday of the week!], Kelli, Berly, and sooo many others.  I can't even list them all! It's been an eye opening experience for a lot of readers who have never been given the chance to know a gay or lesbian person, I think.  Keep sharing your stories and your lives.  I think you're getting through.  :)

slowmotionlife said...

Judith Heartstrings??  LOL  Sorry, Judi!!  Typo, darlin'.  :(

jadzia7667 said...

I didn't realize you HAD a journal!  How wonderful......I get to read all the way back now :)  Congratulations on being featured, my friend.

ksquester said...

GREAT Entry. Hate takes too much energy....could it be rage turned inward? Life is too darn short to get my "panties in a wad" over anybody's sexual orientation. My nephew is a DR. in Houston and has many HIV patients He lectures around the world. I am so proud of him and his work. I love his life partner also. My life has been enriched by the gay and lesbian community.   Anne

freeepeace said...

Beautiful entry.  We tend to forget about those who have walked [trudged, hiked, crawled, scraped the floors] before us.  My hope is that future generations will laugh at the idea that gays and lesbians couldn't get married at 'one time not too long ago.'  Your picture at AOL keyword: Gay & Lesbian [the #1 picture today] is gorgeous!!  Why isn't that in your About Me sidebar?

abeator81 said...

Great entry! I'm not gay myself but one of my oldest friends is and I know the struggle he has to be accepted...even by his own family. I am totally pro-gay/lesbian/whatever because it's up to the individual what they do with their life. It annoys me how so many people still see it as being 'wrong' or 'bad' to be be gay. People are people no matter what gender, race, religion, sexual orientation or anything else they are and everyone should treat each other as a person and not judge or discriminate based on what I consider to be petty things to be worrying about! My ex was very religious and I walked out of his church (much to his embarrassment) because the pastor was harping on about it being wrong to be gay...the church teahces these fundamentally wrong things that affect society in a big way. I think they should think more about loving fellow humans than picking on people! Sorry! Rant over....

Much love, Amy

luckyismle said...

Margo, what an insightful and uplifting read. I being in our community want to personally thank you for loving outreach you so freely spread. So to you I send my applause. Take care, Darla

momdadat447 said...

Margo sorry it took so LONG for me to get here Alerts are not working so I thought I would pop in to see if anything was new and POW LOOK at you, YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!! I am so proud of you, hey I am even a little jealous you being freatured and all Just Kidding :) I am really happy for you Margo, ((((HUGS)))) ~~ANGELA~~

lamove04 said...

Margo: Congrats on your being featured, and this is a well-written entry here!  It's true, AOL-J has many wonderful gay & lesbian journalers (lesbians I would say outnumber us gay guys, not quite sure why?)  And there a whole bunch of awesome friends who accept us wholeheartedly and wish the very best for us.  That, for me, has been one of the nicest parts of keeping a journal here.

Keep up the great work!  --Albert

kathleenggoode said...

Oh my, I had to read “Stone Butch Blues” for my GLBT Literature class, and even though the writing was horrific, I did learn a lot.  One, I did not know about Stonewall and two I hated learning about how the “masculine” lesbians were brutally raped when arrested by the police officers.  

Call me dense, but I could not find your picture. I saw Debbie, George Bush, and then a 37 year old, but not you. Has it been switched around?

hestiahomeschool said...

I am so proud you were featured!  

robbush6 said...

Margo, well said. You're right. You didn't choose to be gay any more than I chose not to. Some things just are the way they are. I never marched in a parade or waved a banner proclaiming that right. I'm sorry you have had to. Many people have shunned me lately for making changes in my life without ever taking a step in my shoes. The only person who has to approve of you is you. Seeking it, however, is a hard habit to break.

cneinhorn said...

I'm new here, Congratulations on your Feature!  I look forward to reading more!
~jerseygirl
http://journals.aol.com/cneinhorn/WonderGirl

realitycheckmco said...

Oh my dear.. we have written very similart entries, you and I... I however, a,m a little more virulent in my dislike of hypocrisy.. (at least in open print).
M