Saturday, September 11, 2004

Birthday

 Picture from HometownToday is my 55th birthday, and as always I am grateful to be alive. Ten years ago last week I had open heart surgery, and I don’t believe my doctors gave me 10 years to live at the time. Ha, fooled them all!

 

Open heart surgery at 44 is a sobering experience, or should be, but in some ways it was freeing. I had always been afraid of death, and I discovered then that it is not death I’m afraid of, it’s dying. Big difference, truly

 

I am not thrilled about the process of dying at all- our culture treats dying badly, with secrecy and panic and extraordinary “treatments” meant to prolong dying, not enable living well until the end. In fact, I’d rather skip the dying part all together.

 

But having looked at death fairly closely, I realize that I am no longer afraid of being dead. My belief system centers around life tasks. We are given one or two life tasks when we enter the word, and we work on them on and off our whole lives. When we die, we somehow continue, with the same tasks- especially if we have not been able or willing to work on them in this life- or we get new tasks to do. For me, this explains why I seem to have worked on the same spiritual and emotional issues in so many ways and forms, over so many years, from so many angles and so differently during the various stages of my life.

 

This has become a bittersweet day. How can anyone let the day go by without remembering the terrible loss of life on 9/11/01? The horror of that day will stay with us forever, and with it, the horror of the wars that have now spun out of control as a response to this act of terrorism. There are some things we can never understand, just mourn.

 

As I have said before, I choose to continue to celebrate my

birthday on the 11th because not to would be to give the terrorists a piece of my life I am unwilling to yield. So why am I meditating on death? Well, actually, I’m not, really. As I said earlier I am thankful to She who has claimed me that I am 55 and still learning and growing and changing!

 

I know my big present, because it is sitting on the couch- a new printer, one that will actually work! Plus, we gave each other half a digital camera last weekend, and I will soon be able to post pictures- I am so excited! I already have the software installed; now all I have to do is figure out how to move them from my documents to my journal. And how to actually take a picture I want to post! (Just a note: We each gave the other half of the same camera, lest you are thinking about us wandering around with half a camera!)

 

My other big present will come later- I won a Judith HeartSong torch! (Judith HeartSong)I am so excited, I can hardly stand it. Her creativity and openness and courage and ability to love and share are quite inspiring, and I am thrilled to receive such a gift. It comes at a good time, too, perhaps to light my way as I work on how to continue to live and grow despite pain and depression. Often the universe does provide what we need if we are open to it.

 

Tonight, we celebrate at a local Greek festival, with good friends and baklava- what more could I ask for on a birthday?

 

Many Blessings to all,

Margo

 

torch by Judith HeartSong, of course!

16 comments:

jeanno43 said...

A very very happy Birthday to you dear friend.  I can understand how it is bittersweet. 9/11 is in all our thoughts. Congratulations on winning a torch. Have seen torches and awards on lots of journals and it does make them special.  Have a wonderful day and a lovely celebration evening. xxxxxxx

hope5555 said...

Happy Birthday!  Enjoy the presents - the printer and the digital camera. And congrats on the torch!

poetmom1968 said...

Happy Birthday Margo!!! :)
Steph

judithheartsong said...

Oh Margo, Happy Birthday to you. I read this entry of yours aloud to Virginia and almost didn't make it through it without crying. You are an awesome soul and I am so glad to know you. There are many things you can teach me, and I think you have been brought into my life for a very good reason.
Your torch is safely packed for mailing..... and once you receive it, I will tell you a very interesting story about it. Help me remember.
My love to you on this night.
judi

momdadat447 said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU AND MANY MANY MANY MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))
~~ANGELA~~

magogos said...

To all who have wished me a Happy B-Day-thank you very much. It has been a good one, low key enough not to exhaust, but filled with nice gifts and good people who love me. I am so Blessed today. Love, Margo

viviansullinwank said...

{{{{{ Margo}}}}}

Congratulations on winning the Judith Heartsong watercolor. I know how thrilled I am about mine...I'm sure you'll love yours just as much.
Oh, I have a message for you....here..

http://journals.aol.com/viviansullinwank/ThisOneIsJustForBirthdays/entries/934

Vivian

deabvt said...

Happy Birthday!!!    And, congratulations on Judith`s torch!
V

sounbelievableme said...

Happy Birthday! This is a wonderful entry, I will surely have to go back and read more.
~Braxton

yorksrose04 said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARGO
hope you had a wonderful day & didnt let the shadow of such sadness steal from you your own day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN lol just incase you missed my 1st one.
Congrads on the Judith torch, though im not sure what it is, i will have to look it up now that ive shown my ignorance.
Hope the Baklava was all you hoped it would be, it sounds such great fun.
hugs
yorks-rose x

desire2cu said...

Hey Margo, thanks for commenting on my being on the G&Lesbian AOL page -- seeing my pic right behind George Bush's was a little sobering!  I enjoyed visiting your journal.  You are an inspiration!  Debbie

whomever711 said...

Just a hair late to wish you Happy getting-to-be-as-old-as-me Day!  what a grand gift to receive (soon, but not soon enough, I don't imagine...) from JudithHeartSong, too.  I'm gonna enter every contest she's got going. Just adore her torches!  appreciate your take on tasks after death, too... interesting angle.
Congrats!  Many, many happy returns.
~~mumsy

abeator81 said...

Hiya! Thanks you for leaving a lovely comment in my journal. I have just discovered yours but I'll be back to read it!

Happy belated birthday and best wishes, Amy


jadzia7667 said...

Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Margo, Happy Birthday to you.  I can help with the posting of pictures from your documents file to your journal, by way of photobucket.com.  Email to follow.

ksquester said...

Happy Belated Birthday Margo, My son also celebrates this day, he turned 31. Glad you stuck around after your surgery and hope you will have MANY more birthdays to celebrate.  Anne

hestiahomeschool said...

Happy birthday!  I am envious that you won the torch!