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I figured I had had my 15 minutes of AOL fame when I was featured on keyword Gay and Lesbian, but apparently it was only seven and a half minutes, because I seem to have been given another few minutes of fame at AOL keyword Health Community. There I am holding Roxy! I seem to have become momentary queen of chronic pain, and I am getting comments, e-mails and IMs from any number of people. I am both touched and overwhelmed.
Many people want to talk about their frustration with the medical system, in general, and methods of pain relief in particular. I have googled around in a very cursory manner on chronic pain, and have discovered we who live in pain in J-Land are not alone-70 million people face chronic pain daily. Most of us are under medicated, not over medicated, by doctors who are not up on today’s standards in pain care. And lots of doctors really don’t care. They are quick to blame psychological problems. I want to shout back. Yeah, who wouldn’t be depressed if they live in pain?!? It’s the PAIN that’s the primary problem-have YOU ever lived with chronic pain!?! I have begun asking my doctors this question, so far, none of them have.
I feel blessed because I like my primary care physician, who keeps referring me out to specialists in an attempt to figure out what’s wrong. And I have a pain clinic. I may not like that doctor as much, and they are really overworked (because there are so few pain clinics in the area), but I have never felt belittled or judged as faking it there, and they give me medication that helps. I am glad I demanded a referral from my orthopedist, who, unable to see my whole medical picture, kept prescribing meds bad for my kidneys, one right after another.
I have learned that this is a long and arduous journey, and those of us who start out as sissies had better toughen up, fast, and become demanding bitches if we really need help. It is shameful that this is so. I have learned that chronic pain separates you from your previous world in a way that is incomprehensible to those who don't have it, and because it often doesn't "show" people get tired of your limitations. I get tired of them, too. Many of us feel suicidal at some point or another, and somedays getting out of bed is simply impossible. Hopelessness lives just on the other side of the bedroom door, and sometimeds it is better to stay put, with the covers over our heads.
I have also learned how helpful most people who live in pain are. I appreciate the outpouring of suggestions, the promise of prayers and support and even the pleas for help I have been receiving. The light of hope flickers through each message. I wish I could offer more than sincere thanks for the concern and care out there. It makes me feel supported on this unasked for journey I am trying to embrace. Thank you all.
Blessings, Margo
picture "Chronic Pain" from: www.eccoblue.org/ abstract.htm
13 comments:
Margo, if it's all right with you, I'll add you to my healing list. It's the people I send healing energy to regularly. I also pass these names and non specific details to the HPS of the coven I used to belong to, so they can send healing energy as well (your privacy is always protected, of course). I don't have chronic pain, but I have asthma, and I empathize completely with what you said about people being impatient because it doesn't show, and thus they can't relate. Sometimes, it's too hard to get out of bed in the mornings for me too. I have a handicapped parking tag, because it's difficult for me to walk more than a hundred yards at a time. It's wearisome to continually get dirty looks from strangers, because I don't 'look' handicapped. Big hugs to you, my friend.
Margo,
I too suffer from chronic back pain. It sucks.
Did you see Montel's show today on
medicinal marijuana? It was a great show!!!
Lovish!
Connie
Margo first that picture is beautiful, I have never seen anything like that I wish I had something like that for my house :)
Thats cool your on the healh community. You deserve to have all the support, I know I support, pray and would do anything to help you through this tough time in your life but like you said sisses need to toughen up or we would never make it through challenges in our life. Thanks for the awesome entry Margo ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) ~~Angela~~
Love and prayers to you Margo from another pain sufferer. I also love the picture, not the sort of thing that would normally appeal to me, but this one I like. xxxxx
I am thinking of you, you are a wonderful woman!!!
Hi Margo - you can add another chronic pain sufferer to you mental list. I am also one of those sissies you mentioned. I've been treated like a drug seeking addict one too many times (mind you, I've never had more than 8 pills prescribed at a time and nothing stronger than Tylenol with Codein.) But the doctors just assume when you tell them you are in pain and could they please give you something to help that you are a potential addict. I don't like being treated like a criminal!!!! -B
Congrats for being featured again. I know you deal with alot of pain. I read your journal because I like it AND to check up on you too.:) Pain sure does lead to depression. I know you have your dark moments, but you seem like a strong woman. Just look at you being an inspiration for others.:)
Steph
I'm sorry that doctors are so under-informed and suspicious of people who need pain management. I suppose they are worried about people getting addicted to painkillers? Is that the main issue?
I too feel like I'm not taken seriously or even like they think I'm faking it. One 'specialist' even told me it was all in my head and to do with depression I had a few years ago. I think they are all so wrong. I dont feel depressed...and if I do get down it's because I'm constantly ill, in pain and not able to do the things I always used to. I have been finding out as much as I can about the illness I have...or most likely have and that seems to help. Understanding it a little better and getting advice and tips from others who suffer with the same or similar illness helps me to manage my own illness more effectively. I just have to get to grips with pacing a bit better...it's harder than it sounds to get lots of 'proper' rest without getting really really bored!
I hope you manage to get somewhere and never let them fob you off...and remember that you're not alone.
Love and huggles, Amy xxx
I think I mentioned my husband’s back pain before. He was not taken seriously, until finally one doctor believed him and started the steroid injections in his back. Now he claims to be pain free with only an occasional flare up. We went through it for four years. I am thinking about you and do wish you the best.
I understand chronic pain as I have lived with it. It is under control now but who knows what the future brings. I pray for you.
Margo, I would like to thank you and everyone who wrote to you. I never thought I would be writing to say, thank you all for letting me know I'm not a lone. I have been going through Chronic Pain for several years now, and on top of alot of other things life likes to throw at me. My Doctor left her practice and trying to find another Doctor to listen no long understand is not so fun. And I would like to live my life without medication one day, until then if this can get me through day by day don't look at me like I'm crazy or nothing wrong. I would like to see how the eye rolers would handle this? I have lost most of my family and friends. So to see this was a real comfort to know that I'm not a lone. You all have one more prayer being said.
Hello! You have no clue who I am. but I read this entry and I want you to know that I am praying for you. God is the best Medication that you can get. Much Love, Kris
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