I am alive and doing okay. Still sad, still crying at unexpected moments, but moving on, nevertheless. Rene has made a bid on a condo/duplex in an area of completely renovated old mill workers' houses. It's a nice size and a nice safe neighborhood, and has plenty of storage. I hope she gets it, because it would be perfect for her. Closing would be Dec. 10, and it's about a 20 minute ride from here. She has started packing up some stuff already.
We are getting along well. We were happy to have over 60 Trick-or-Treaters, and had a good time handing out little bags of cheetos, instead of candy, which I didn't want in the house. They went over big, much to our surprise. Kids in the neighborhood were talking about them for days! Who woulda thunk it?
I am leaving to see my parents in the Poconos of PA on Sunday, without Rene. It's a little scary-I have not driven more than an hour or so since last spring, but I have to start doing more for and by myself. Now seems as good a time as any to start. My mom has had two eye surgeries this summer, and is not allowed to fly yet, but they will be heading back to CO mid-December. I am hoping all will be well during the winter and they will be back to PA come spring.
I am meditating and mulling around about my weight, my relationship with food, and with Rene, and how I cannot seem to move onward until she has moved out. Actually, as I write that it seems pretty silly. I am moving-going to the gym, to physical therapy, working to get my protein and fluids in, pushing myself a bit each day. It's just that I cannot see that movement yet, but getting my house in order will be an outward and visible sign of an inward and spiritual change-eventually.
Sometime after Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year, I hope. Between now and then, I just plan to keep plodding ahead.
I am behind on reading journals, and not commenting much when I do read, but I still appreciate the support I feel from out there in my small corner of J-land. As I have more time to look at the changes that have happened and are happening in my life, I hope to see more clearly how to respond with growth to the challenges I've been presented.