As some of you may have surmised, I have not posted in a couple of weeks because I have been really depressed, unable, or unwilling, to summon up the energy to write anything new. I can keep on posting "poor me, I'm not doing well" until the cows come home, but it doesn't help me, or make interesting reading, and I'm tired of it all. My life is so much better than so many people I know, online and off, that I am ashamed to be down in the pits so long.
However, since I know it will be a long time before anything of a bovine nature comes wandering down our dead end street, I better jump back into the J-Land pool now. I have been a lurker, dipping my toes in the water by posting an occasional comment, but mostly just passing through day after day, a weary wanderer, searching, searching for I know not what, etc,etc,etc... ;-) I seem to fall easily into exaggeration and cliches at the drop of a hat when I'm depressed. At least I can smile about it now and then!
I really appreciate those who left comments or e-mailed me, it helps to know that I am missed when I disappear for more than a few days. I am always glad for a small missive to remind me there is a world beyond my gloom. And despite all this, I know that in the long run I will be okay. The clouds will lift enough for me to find a path-they always have in the past and they will this time, too. I am trying to take care of myself by not beating myself up too much, drinking plenty of water, getting outside every day (no matter how gray the skies), keeping my various appointments without fail, lighting my special candle and meditating(briefly) daily, and remembering others I care about who are also struggling.
I have a lot that I am thankful for- people who love me, money to live on, a place that I love to live, a computer to play on, and the sure certain knowledge that this is not forever.