"So," my partner Rene said after she read my first entry, "what are you going to talk about, day after day?"
"This, that, and who shot the cat," I replied breezily. What? Where on earth did that statement come from? Somewhere deep inside my psyche, I guess, as I seem to remember my Grandmother using it. Don't worry, I've never shot a cat, and neither did she. My life is full of strange sayings that emerge at odd moments.
I plan to write about whatever comes up in my life, and today was one long slog. One of the lasting legacies of the Big Fall has been chronic pain. I will return to that story eventually, but the short version is that I shattered my right upper arm and cracked my elbow, had surgery, ended up with nerve damage, and still struggle daily with pain-in my arm and sholder- now with a bone spur and tendonitis, in my wrist-now with moderate to severe carpal tunnel-and in my back- disc problems exaserbated by the fall, according to one orthopedic doc; unrelated to the fall, according to his junior partner, who happens (alas) to be my doctor of record for the injury.
Today I saw my naturapathic doctor- a 40 minute drive-then my therapist- an hour+ ride from the doctor, then came home-a 40 minute drive- in time to go to the gym for an hellish hour with Glenn, my personal trainer. My body woke up protesting and has gotten worse all day!
Chronic pain has been one of the changes in my life that I am working to accept and even embrace, somehow or another. I am loaded down with different modalities with which to accomplish this task- I take heavy meds, go to the gym, work with a wholistic minded Somatic Integrationalist, meditate, cry, walk, scream, nap, whine, have massages, go to physical therapy, see a therapist for depression, depend on my partner and friends for support, and still bottom out now and then.
Maybe I'm just trying too hard!
On a brighter note, last weekend I ordered a bookcase and computer chair from Office Max and just now- 8:50 pm, they arrived! Good thing ,too, because I have a friend lined up to put them together tomorrow morning, I will now take my aching bod up to bed, so I can be up early to pass her coffee and screwdrivers and wrenches and whatever else she needs to put my stuff together.I am truly blessed by my friends.