Beginning

Happy Birthday J-Land and to my own Journal beginning! I have been nosing around this community for a while now, and have finally decided to take the plunge. I would like to start with a bang, of course, so I'll tell the story of the beginning of my changes.

It was 7:45am on August 7th, 2003, and I was happily pottering  around my office in the Medical Unit at Connecticut's womens' prison, organizing myself for the day. I had my office door open, an unusual occurrnce, but the inmates were in count (i.e. locked down) so it was quiet as members of the staff dribbled in for the day.Because days at the Med Unit are crazily busy, I decided to rush to the bathroom before count cleared.

I got up fom my chair, turned quickly towards the door, took a couple of rapid steps, and discovered to my horror that my feet were wrapped up in the phone cord. I had barely recognized this before I was hurtling towards the floor, which seemed a long way down. Unfortunately, it was not far away at all.  I am a very large woman and fell like a redwood: I am sure the whole building shook as I landed.

I will save the rest of the story for another time, but the fall sent me off onto a medical oddessy, a journey I am still slogging on with today, 11+ months later! I have never been one of those cup half full people who moves optomistically into change. Oh no. I am a cup half empty person, who has to be dragged forward, kicking and screaming, throwing out excuses and reasons, procrastinating and whining. I am capable, however, of change, and have been working on doing so, in fits and starts, willingly and unwillingly, with hope and dread, enthusiasm and fear, successes and failures, for the last year. And I will continue to do so, with encouragement from family, friends, and perhaps from J-Land as well!