Friday, April 6, 2007

Still Living and Moving

I have neither disappeared into the real world, nor sunk to the depths of depression. I have alternated between being busy and tired. My friend Mark, of http://journals.aol.com/makemarc/SoberGayEx-Con/,put put it best in his comment on my last entry. After I enumerated the ways I am moving outward, he wrote, sardonically,
" What? You're not training for a triathlon?  Gee Margo, some people are so lazy!"
 
As always he has a good point, and I must be very careful about not rushing to add more "interesting" activities to my life, at least when I have so many "have to" ones-physical therapy. doctor's appointments, regular therapy appointments, some of which are an hour's drive away. Of course the problem is that the interesting things-like yoga, and "elder-sitting" a woman at a local nursing home are the ones I want to do! And I can't wait to start doing Gentle Touch/Guided Imagery at the hospital! And I am so grateful to have come this far.
 
Since I mentioned Marc, I may as well plug his Blog. He is a real writer, thoughtful, articulate, humorous, a passionate street warrior with a trash pick, doing daily battle with the trash on the streets of Hollywood, among a number of other things. He has been a clear minded support for me during difficult times because he can cut through my fog, straight to the heart of the matter. I appreciate him a lot, and hope others will add him to their daily reads, too.
 
As for me, I am 268 journal entries behind, and beginning to recognize I'll never catch up if I comment, though commenting is part of the journal experience for me. And I miss what is going on in people's lives! Perhaps I will catch up some in the next couple of weeks at my parent's house.
 
My mother called a while ago to ask me to come "help sort" through stuff for the move into elderly housing they will make this fall. I agreed immediately, of course. The only problem however, as she well knows, is that I can't lift or carry much because of my shoulder, she can't lift or carry anything because her only hand is gnarled and frozen from arthritis and being overworked for over 55 years, and m father can't lift or carry much because his emphysema has worsened a lot this last year. We'll be quite a trio! 
 
Actually, I suspect my mother just wants to look at her stuff with me nearby to listen to stories and decide what will go to who when they move into a smaller place. That I can certainly do, bad shoulder, walker and all. I serve as a kind of permission giver for her, though I'm sad she needs one. I tell her gently that it's okay to send Great Aunt Leila's hand embroidered napkins to Goodwill, and sell some of the silver we kids don't want to polish for the rest of our lives, as she has dutifully (and resentfully) polished for over 60 years now.
 
My life seems so much less encumbered than hers, less to polish, to clean, to insure, to worry about. I also understand she has a lifetime of possessions that she has polished, cleaned, insured and worried about, and letting go will be wrenching. And I must admit I have one or two items myself-mostly artwork-that I plan to posses as long as possible, which somehow also makes them possess me. But nothing I have to polish!  
 
I am taking my computer west with me. I have learned that, while they have steadfastly refused to touch a computer for years, claiming they have no need of one, somehow they always have computer tasks for me when I get there. I see them for two or three weeks a year, but they cheerfully save up their tasks for me to do on dial up!
 
All this means is I will be online some while I'm there, so I'll look for you, gentle readers, and once again return to J-Land a bit more.
 
Blessings Margo
 

8 comments:

gazker said...

You forgot Marc's dry sense of humour too (Brit spelling) he IS the trash whisperer!

Have a wonderfull Easter......... Gaz ;-)

dbaumgartner said...

Bless your heart.  Your Mom is really going to need you and your strength as she sort through the boxes that have become her life.

Hugs to you and blessing on this heartfelt journey.

Deb

luvmort said...

It's always meloncholy to go throught the detrius of one's life.  I have done it time and again (usually when moving) and it's hard to part with those things that have such sentimental power over us.  There are a few really ugly, really odd and really stupid things I have carried with me for decades.  And will continue to do so until I slip this mortal coil.  

So, get your ass on that marathon track, now!  I want you in shape to be boogying on the dance floor at the Studio Six very soon!  LOL!

dklars said...

I've been a fan of Marc's for a year or so now.  You're right, he's a great read.  Have a great time with your parents!
~~Kath~~

lisa41076 said...

Margo, I will check Mark's journal out, Have a safe trip my friend !!!!! Hugs Lisa

toonguykc said...

I've missed you!  Sometimes I get mad at my J-Land friends who don't check in -- but not you, Margo.  Keep carving out the life for yourself -- the life you want and deserve!!!

Russ

hope5555 said...

Thanks for the update, and I will check out Mark's blog.  As for keeping up with others' blogs, don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. I don't. I read when I can, and figure that's what others do too.

makemarc said...

I had no idea you plugged me Margo, thank YOU. I can't tell you how good that makes me feel to hear you describe me just the way you did. From your mouth to the ears of my next boyfriend.