Thursday, January 19, 2006

Dizzy Blond

If this is too hard to read on aol, you can go to   Since my back has gotten no better, I went to the ER yesterday for an X-Ray. Yup, I have a compression fracture of the L 3 vertebra. I fell New Year's Day because I got dizzy.

I have been having dizzy spells when I stand up for a couple of month or so( or more) and a couple of times I have fallen-which isn't as bad as trying to get up from the floor once I am down.

I am always glad no one is around for this maneuver., It involves shuffling on my rear end to a chair, finding a pillow for my knees along the way, then struggling onto my knees,  pulling myself up, with my weak arm screaming for mercy, until I can get my feet under me and push into a semi-standing position. From there I can rise gracefully, as I was taught so many years ago at Shipley School, the all girls finishing school I attended. Miss Spear and Miss Wagner would be proud of the last part of the maneuver, although I suspect they are rolling in their graves at the first part of the enterprise of getting up.

I may have gone off my subject a bit, but they should know that I can still curtsey pretty well (when I am not dizzy) in case I am ever presented to the Queen, and I can descend a sweeping stairs side ways in a ball gown, should that opportunity arise. And to be fair, I can still read Beowulf , which we first studied in 6th grade. Funny how the mind works. Eventually I was sent off to a co-ed Quaker boarding school where I learned how to be a leftist radical hippie, a different story all together.   In case you are were worried, I have seen my doctor, had a 90 minute evaluation for vertigo, and will go back for more sessions, have an appointment with a PA at my orthopedist's office, and am waiting for a call back from my cardiologist in case it is somehow heart related. And to top it off, I see the Eminent Shoulder Doctor on Monday. If he says surgery, I'll have to fit it in somehow. If he says surgery won't help, I am stuck here with my arm and shoulder pain forever, and will have to cope.   I am coping ok without Rene, especially by day. By night I miss her presence in the house, her laughter at the TV drifting in from the other room, her funny comments on the newspaper, that sort of small thing. I still cry sometimes but I know it will get better with time. Saturday four friends and I will have a small  ritual and smudge the house, asking for light and the opportunity for growth to fill the house and each other. My purpose is not to "get rid of Rene", but to allow her good (Light) aspects to stay, and nudge her unhappy( Dark) aspects out. I hope I can still lead powerful, but simple, ritual, something that I stopped doing with Rene in the house.   I cannot sit in a chair very long because of my poor broken back, but I appreciate your comments a lot, and am reading journals slowly, knowing now that I will never catch up, just start again as time goes on.   Blessings, Margo


dklars said...

Oh my goodness! I hope you can get some relief from your pain soon ~~Kath~~

makemarc said...

Your spirit, my dear, is indomitable.

moonpie337 said...

My fingers are crossed for Monday!  I'd love to hear more about becoming a hippie at boarding school:> Stevie at MoonPines

lisa41076 said...

Margo, I have just recently started talking to you online.You seem like you are a really great human being  and it is always a pleasure to talk to you.I hope your pain gets better and I hope everything goes ok when you go for your doctor's appointment Monday.I'll be thinking of you Monday and sending good thoughts your way, Hugs Lisa

dbaumgartner said...

I hear your spirit and it's a wonderful sound.

Hugs, my dear friend


luvmort said...

I had a book from a finishing school from the fifties. It was great! I love the many ways of holding a pocket book or a clutch purse when one is in public!
I swear, they need to do this again. Working in the club, you see a whole lotta girls that need a good finishing school.
Or a good spanking! LOL!
Sorry to hear about the fractured vertabre. That sucks!

bosoxblue6993w said...

due to my MS i have no balance, either.    if i turn around too quick, i get dizzy and lightheaded

cyndygee said...

Oh, I'm so sorry about the falls.  I think that's amazing that you can right yourself with a broken back . . .  Margo, you are my hero!  Thinking of you,