Sunday, October 26, 2008

I'm Still Changing- With a Goodbye

I am still alive and functioning in Gales Ferry. And still quite gobsmacked over the length and breadth and depth of the pain and anger around my parents' deaths. We had an Episcopalian Memorial Service over Columbus Day Weekend in the Poconos. It was a beautiful, only slightly chilly Fall day, and we held it in an outside in an opening in the woods used for Quaker Meeting/Church Services. Both parents would have loved the place, the weather, and the company.
I was rather overwhelmed by the company. Present were my father's sister and her husband, and his sister, and my father's brother, and a couple of others all over 80, deaf, and yelling at each other, my brother, sister, myself, and a friend of mine who came along to help with the driving, all dancing around each other working hard at being polite, and three of my five nephews, working on drinking as much beer and wine as possible (two are of age, one isn't quite, yet).
I was rather overwhelmed, sipping my one polite drink in the midst of a hard drinking crowd, going outside to smoke just to put some distance between the multitude and myself. The best time was Sunday afternoon, when everybody but immediate family had departed, and I could let go enough to have a second drink and enjoy leftovers.
Clearly, I managed to survive with my polite smile pasted firmly on, but then came home and fell apart again. But I have taken my front garden of 6 years of weeds, dug up over 200 Giant Dutch irises, and if my tears have watered it more than I'd like, there is little to do about it.
And now on to the next big loss; J-Land. I have been here for nearly six years, and I am very sad to be leaving. But moving on I am. My new journal can be found at http://magogossmusingsachanginglife.blogspot.com/. I hope my readers will follow me over there, for I will miss those who don't.
Also, could you all send me your new addresses, even if you have already. I have been a little vague and missed a number of things going on around me!
Many Blessings to All, And With Love,
Margo

13 comments:

LYN said...

HI!! I'M HERE!! GLAD TO SEE YOU ARE TOO!

Indigo said...

Margo my dear friend, I'm delighted to find you on this side of the blogsphere. You remain in my thoughts dear one. I know the death of your parents still sits heavily with you. I'm here for you in whatever way I may be. Wishing you love and peace! (Hugs)Indigo

Solitary Dancer said...

Hi my dear friend,

I am here and glad you moved in to the neighborhood. I will send you my main blog address but a you will see I have a ton of different blogs.

Hugs and love, sweetie,

deb

~~Kath~~ said...

I've got you on my follow list. Welcome to your new home!
~~Kath~~

Teresa said...

((((((((Margo))))))))) Hello hon, I am SO happy to see you here...I was very worried I was going to lose you. I'm here if you need me (ALL of us are you know) Blessings* Teresa

http://shadowsofthemoon.blogspot.com/

Anne said...

I'm here dear and so very happy to SEE you. Please write more, sometimes I worry. Anne

Celeste said...

Welcome. http://mydayandthoughts.blogspot.com/
also http://celeste-cslife.blogspot.com

blondepennie said...

Margo I am sorry to read that you have been through so much pain. I have been there and felt the same pain. I wish I had some magic words, but after reading your entry I think you know best how to care for yourself. I have missed reading your words, butI have had to take some away time to try to adjust to this new life that I find myself leading. I think I am almost there. So will be writting and reading again. Love & Prayers - Pennie

Toon said...

Good tosee you back & bloggin'!

xx
Russ

Lisa said...

Hi hon, here I am on my new laptop writing to you, Love You Lisa

Celeste said...

Checking up on you

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Becky said...

Been thinking about you since your birthday past me by. Wondering how you are. Drop me a note if you can. *hugs*
Becky