Friday, November 5, 2004

So How Was Your Week?

You'd think any week that starts with being unofficially declared disabled has no where to go but up, wouldn't you?  Not so this week. Tuesday I received a denial from Social Security Disability, which tells me that I am able to return to my past work, even though I am experiencing some discomfort(!), Wednesday, Sen. Kerry was kind enough to send me an e-mail, conceding to Bush. I worry about our future as individuals and as a country. Thursday, it became clear that the cortisone shot Dr. Only-Do-Hands gave me was not one of my best moves. My hand still hurts, and my whole arm is painfully numb, in a way that defies description. Today I have a killer headache, and could not go out with Rene and friends for dinner.  

Sorry for myself?  You betcha. I am really in a slump. I am still doing all the correct things. Called my attorney about SSD benefits, went to the gym twice, allowed myself a week or two of mourning before looking for political coalitions to join, cried (for me this is always therapeutic), decided to spend the first two weeks in Dec. visiting my parents in Colorado, saw my therapist, went with Rene to couples' counseling, took a cold short, brisk walk, and a nap most days.  

Next week I'll do more correct things,  refusing to fall into complete inertia, and hope against hope that  some switch in the kaleidoscope of life will offer more light, more color, more energy, more hope for the future. One small brightness is my excitement at discovering a fellow member of J-and who lives in the next town over. Sara and I are going to have tea on Tuesday. She can be found here: Like Sara, I never thought I would have a real J-Land get together in my own backyard!  

I apologize to those who read my journal that I keep posting from the same old place, that I cannot see beyond the end of my nose, because I do know life can be quite good, even on a reduced level, and that I just have to get over some hump to see that. Then I can move on a bit, to seeing the  light as well as the dark. Meanwhile, thank you for your comments; I can no longer imagine what my life would be like without you.  

Blessings, Margo    


thebaabee said...

I came across your journal a little while ago but only just really got into it.  I am sorry to read that you have so many things going wrong with your health.  I can sympathize with you.  I have Lupus or so we think and a myriad of other ailments (a seizure disorder being one of them caused by a stroke).  I am sorry about your denial from Social Security Disability too.  I applied in July of this year and am waiting to hear from them myself.  I love reading your journal.  LuAnne

ceschorr said...

Margo! i totally can't wait for you to come over for tea:)  and life. then we can really chat. i'm in the process of applying for disability too... so i hear ya.....  and hey, it's okay to feel sorry for yourself! i do , you do, we all do sometimes. i gotta get an attorney for the ssd thing???? great.... i offer you right now my humble prayers, love, and energy(i actuallly had some today, lol) and i can not wait to meet you! MANY BLESSINGS ON YOU TONIGHT AND ALWAYS MARGO! your friend, sara

jadzia7667 said...

((((((((Margo))))))))  My thoughts are with you, my friend.  If there's anything at all I can do, drop me a mail.  You are loved, my friend......that counts for a lot.  

dbaumgartner said...

{{{{{Hugs}}}}} my new friend.  J-Land is a wonderful and powerful community and I am so happy you found a piece of it in your backyard. I hope you and Sara have a wonderful time and that this will bring a light into your life.


bosoxblue6993w said...

Your lawyer probably told you already that MOST people get rejected on their first go-round.  I certainly did.  I had to plea my case before an Administrative Court.  So, keep hope alive, Margo!
 Four more years, got you depressed, huh?  Take it from someone who's had kidney stones:  "THIS, TOO, WILL PASS"

yorksrose04 said...

Sorry about your bad news from the social, its bad enough knowing you are feeling as you are with your health and then  knowing you have to battle to get money you are entitled to!
Some good news at least about tea with yr friend. have a great time. its amazing how small is the world, yet how huge is the net! Or should that be the other way round lol.
Take care.
hugs yorks-rose xx

csandhollow said...

Most people are denied the first time. I had a ftriend that was in a come and had advanced MS. He was denied. Said that he could do his job! He drove a truck! It was appealed and granted. He was still in a coma where he remained until death. Now I do not know HOW he was supposed to do his former job........ SSI is not as hard to get except you cannot own property.

jeanno43 said...

Hang on there Margo.  I am sure things will improve.  We all want it "now" don't we?  You will be in my prayers as usual. Hope you have a good week.

judithheartsong said...

You are a gem Dearest Margo. judi

poetmom1968 said...

Like I always say, you'll find your way. :)  And journals are a perfect place to vent.  No need to apologize.:)

chasingmoksha said...

My father was denied twice for disability until he was finally approved.  I heard that they automatically deny a person the first time around even when the cases are severe.  It has become a racket, because unless one has an attorney (I am glad to read that you do) it is almost impossible to get it.  Hang in there kid!

lrttklly said...

Believe it or not... I was turned down for disability in my first application. The evaluators concurred that I could no longer return to my profession due to risk of becoming more ill than I already am...but, they thought maybe I can lift 10 lbs.... which I can humerous does not rest in the shoulder socket and I have ruptured muscles. No one even had me try to lift anything!
Go figure.
I hired a lawyer and am going into the 17th month of waiting appeal.
It has been a very rare occasion when I have seen someone receive disability the first time through.
Life with Lupus
Finding a Voice
Loretta's Studio

hestiahomeschool said...

Keep on trudging....things will change....I promise.